Totally Inappropriate Holiday Ornaments

I'm making this one early because we'll want to spend some time on these!

You will make a delightfully inappropriate holiday ornament, suitable for hanging on a Christmas tree. Suitable in terms of workmanship, maybe not so much theme. :P This is pretty open to interpretation. I'd love to see sacrilegious, sexual, violence, swear words, or genital themed. As always, keep it fun: nothing racist or otherwise discriminatory is acceptable.

Constructing them out of whatever people construct ornaments out of, or embellishing a basic one is fine as long as it shows some effort. This is sender's choice other than these requirements.

This is sender's choice other than the rules above. You can make it ahead of time and are not obligated to consider your partner's profile or preferences.

I believe no one should host swaps they aren't willing to angel themselves. I will angel if necessary, but I screen participants very carefully to minimize the risk of flakers getting in. I will remove participants with poor ratings, late swaps, drama, nasty comments, or other swapping history that concerns me at my discretion. If you have any negative swapping history and want to participate, please proactively PM me to explain. Otherwise, I may ban you with no notice if I am suspicious. And I tend to be suspicious.

Because of delivery issues, multi-profiler/flaker concerns, and site policies I require real names. If you join a swap of mine with a fake name or no last name, you will be asked to fix it.

Since this is a package/time intensive swap, it will be limited to the USA and require at least 10 type 3 ratings to participate.

The picture is from @oblivionSpin of a dick ornament I made her last year. :P