Crude Humor Christmas Card Swap - USA

I bought a box of funny Christmas cards & there were a few kinda funny/crude/tasteless, cards in there that I can't send to someone in a regular card swap so I am hosting this one.

For this swap you will send your partner a Christmas card that features some crude humor. Please use your best judgement. A card that is lacking in taste, contains profanity, mildly vulgar, slightly offensive, raunchy or uses innuendo is what were shooting for. A butt crack, curse word, a snowman with a carrot for a wiener, flipping the bird, a cat's butt hole, etc.

Absolutely no cards depicting racism, religion or homophobia are allowed.

Also, I have tried very hard to portray the "playful tone" of this swap but if I am missing something that is morally inexcusable please PM me.

What's acceptable crude humor to one person might not be to the other, so please do not rate down if it is not quite your taste.

Any size, style, & shape are welcome. Please write a little something inside, don't just sign it & send.

A flat surprise is not required, but is always nice if you have something to share :)

Happy Holidays!

RULES: NEWBIES WELCOME with a well filled out profile. No recent or unexplained 1's or 3's. Must have a good swapping history. I will screen all participants of this swap VERY THOROUGHLY during signup & before partners are assigned, so don't drop out if you see a flaker or someone with poor ratings because they will be removed. If your not sure if you meet the requirements, have a concern about the swap or about someone who has signed up please let me know privately. Please PM me for any questions/concerns since I do not check the comment section below.